Lifelong Adoption Issues

There can be no question that an adoption is a huge moment in the lives of everyone involved. As hopeful and upbeat as we may be about the process, it is important to recognize that this decision will not only have immediate external effects, but will also leave lasting questions in the hearts and minds of child, parent, and the rest of the family.

Accepting that adoption is a lifelong process of continuous integration and adjustment is the first step toward a successful relationship. The expectation that a child or guardian will eventually get totally “settled in” to the situation can lead to major disappointment and frustration. While the first few months and years will probably be more difficult, parents should not fall into the trap of assuming that anything is simply a “phase.”

Confronting Societal Expectations

Even in the most supportive environment, adopted children will repeatedly have to face looming feelings of loss, rejection, and isolation. The combination of societal pressures and the inevitable search for one’s sense of self can be excruciating, and adopted children of any age are likely to express this psychological strife in a number of ways, from withdrawing emotionally to aggressive behavior and acting out.

Members of adoptive families must also grapple with problems of intimacy and attachment. Recognizing that the bond between a birth parent and his or her child is fundamentally different from that between an adoptive parent and adopted child is painful.

Society unwittingly puts a lot of pressure on adoptive families to be well-adjusted – in other words, an adoption is often only seen as successful if the child does not question his or her background, or if the parent has absolutely no doubts or regrets. However, this expectation is both unrealistic and deeply unhealthy if it leads family members to suppress thoughts and feelings that need to be given weight.

Contact Us

For more information on adoption resources and counseling, contact the Austin adoption lawyers of Slater, Kennon & Pugh Ltd.LLP. today by calling 512-472-2341.