5 Tips for Handling Birthdays and Holidays after a Divorce
Sharing custody after a divorce is always difficult, but the problems may become more noticeable when birthdays and holidays roll around. In the months and years immediately following the divorce things will be especially tense, but every year that passes will mean more time to heal and tensions subsiding a little bit more.
Having a custody agreement that covers where the kids will spend holidays and birthdays is essential, but don’t forget to have an agreement on how changes to the schedule can be negotiated without too much fighting. The following tips may help you keep things running smoothly when it comes time to share custody during special times of year:
- Have a Plan – Everything takes a lot more work when there are two family arrangements to account for. Make sure you leave plenty of time for you and your ex to discuss your plans, and to thoughtfully consider each other’s wishes.
- Reinvent Traditions – Do not make the mistake of thinking that you can recreate your old family traditions like nothing has changed, as this only leads to more heartache. Instead, create new traditions that can carry through your new living arrangement. This makes for building new memories rather than recalling painful ones.
- Listen to Your Kids – It’s important to remember that the well-being of your children is of primary concern when making custody decisions about birthdays and holidays. Sometimes the child’s wishes need to come before yours, even if it’s “your week”.
- Try Two Celebrations – Sometimes a great solution can be having two separate celebrations for each holiday and birthday; one with you and one with your ex. With an arrangement like this it is important to make sure that your plans are collaborative rather than competitive.
- Follow Through – Whatever plans you make, recognize that children care deeply about events like birthdays and the holidays. Don’t make a tough situation worse by adding disappointment to the mix.
Always remember that birthdays and holidays are celebrations and time for happiness. Old feelings can be dredged up easily, and it’s important to keep things civil and positive for the benefit of your children.
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If you have questions about your custody arrangement, an experienced Austin divorce attorney from Slater, Kennon & Pugh LTD. LLP can help. Call us today at 512-472-2431 to schedule an initial consultation.